The Museum of Unwanted Art

 Yet another painting
had been dropped off at the back door
of the Museum of Unwanted Art,
so the curator made her way up from the vaults
to inspect the new arrival

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 What do you think it is?

 I’m not sure
It kind of looks like a scarecrow

 I think it might scare away
just about anyone who looked at it
It might even scare off a burglar

 Let’s let the docents decide tomorrow

 Okay

 The assistant then put the painting in the lounge
where the docents met every Thursday,
got really stoned,
and then tried to figure out
in which gallery to put the paintings
that were of an extremely ambigous nature

 Some of the paintings had been inherited,
most had been received as gifts
and all of them had been unwelcome
in the homes of their previous owners

 Most people dropped off their paintings at night,
hoping not be seen
by the person who had painted the painting
or the one who had given it to them

 Some artists would visit
now and then
to see if any of their paintings
had made their way
to the Museum of Unwanted Art

 In the wing for paintings
that appeared to be unfinshed,
a supply of paints and brushes were available,
and visitors were encouraged
to finish the paintings

 Not all of the paintings
were an eyesore
or mediocre at best
Some of them were rather good,
and now and then
a true masterpiece would be donated
by someone
who had no appreciation of fine art

 And for those interested in exceptionally bad art,
a room known as the torture chamber was reserved
for the worst of the worst

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 The museum had been open
for only a few months,
and yet all of the walls were full,
and in the storage vaults below
the curator was quickly running out of space

 What shall we do?
she asked
at the docents’ meeting on Thursday

 We could donate them
to prisons for white-collar criminals
and hang them in their cells

 That would be cruel

 I think it’s a good idea

 They might hang themselves

 The planet would probably be better off
without some of those guys

 Yeah,
some of them ought to leave this dimension
and reincarnate as a tree or something
before attempting to be human again

 We could give some of the paintings
to the architects
who designed the ugly buildings in this town
and tell them that if they ever design
such ugly buildings again,
buildings that we have to look at every day,
we’ll kidnap them and put them in a cellar
that is full of ugly paintings

 Great idea

 Yeah, man
It’s about time to put a stop
to bad architecture

 Let’s leave the front door unlocked at night,
so that thieves can easily take
whatever they desire

 Excellent idea
Let’s start tonight

 We could burn a few of them every day
when it starts to colder
That way we wouldn’t have to cut down any trees
for firewood

 Let’s have an auction
Paintings that some cannot stand the sight of
might appeal to others

 I quite like that one of the purple turtle

 Me too

 People have a tendency to value more
things they have to pay for,
so if we had an auction,
people might like the paintings more than before

 And by thus increasing their value,
the paintings would find their way to new homes,
where they’d be loved and cherished

 We could also encourage people
to adopt a painting

 Good idea

 And perhaps we should do something
to discourage people who attempt to paint
without divine inspiration

 Hitler sent some of his paintings to Kandinsky
and asked for his opinion
Kandinsky sent them back
and told Hitler that they sucked

 Yeah,
and then Hitler changed his job

 And went on a world tour

 Yeah

 We shouldn’t discourage anyone from painting
One of them might start World War III

 We should neither encourage nor discourage
Who knows what would happen as a result

 Yeah

 It would be great if people would stop trying to be painters

 Yeah
People should stop trying to be anything

 Yeah
They should just be

 Yeah
Think of all the trees
that are cut down every year
to make frames and to support canvases

 Save a tree,
just be

 Yeah

 Painters should wait for inspiration
and allow creative energy to flow
rather than think about
what they’d like to paint

 Yeah
Less thinking
and more being

 So where shall we put this painting?

 It’s not really clear
what it is

 Maybe it’s upside down

 The colors are nice

 Let’s smoke another joint
and then decide

 And so the docents continued to smoke
and to decide
where to hang unwanted art

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